Seeing how it’s already been over a week since the glorious event that was Aecon4 and I have promised to publish my report more than a thousand times, I think it’s high time I actually do it so here goes! Attention: ridiculously long story ahead!
Before I say anything though: all the attached photos are mine and so is the following story so please - PLEASE - do not repost, copy or edit without my permission!
Behold, the tale of the Pun Fairy! :)
Aecon was my first convention ever. I booked the ticket maybe a month ahead in a complete spur of the moment so I had very little time to prepare enything special for the occasion but being the loud and obnoxious person I am, I had to do something to make people remember me. I figured, the best way to do it was to invent a thing people can identify me with and thus the idea of the Pun Fairy was born.
I bought a box of really nice cards at the Frankfurt airport and after searching for w long while for some worthy candidates (with the help of the lovely Ruth and Jess) I had a sufficiently bad joke to write in every one of them. My plan was to give Mark and Misha a card for every time I had a chance to meet them in person - during a coffee lounge or a photo op (I didn’t plan on giving any to other guests for two reasons: one, I didn’t have enough cards and two, I didn’t expect to have enough money to get any other photo ops and stuff). I signed every card as the Pun Fairy.
First up was Mark Sheppard during his Saturday coffee lounge I somehow got the last ticket to. He was cranky as hell and from what I gather, got a ton of shit for that but honestly, after living for two years in UK, all I have to say is: that’s what happens when you force a Brit to travel. I got to chat with him about how Abaddon was only cool ‘cause of Alaina’s acting, his date with Jody and he had a bit of a laugh over the question of the bill. He looked touched when I handed him the card afterwards - as I said, the cards were pretty and he probably expected something more touchy-feely than a Doctor Who pun but I had to go before he had a chance to read the content.
I had my Misha photo op next and I demanded a hug and that he looked overjoyed. The card I gave him had an octopus joke in it and he read it while I went ot get my stuff. Once he was done, he yelled after me, saying: ‘This doesn;t even make any sense!' to which I replied: 'Yes, it does, it’s funny and you’ll get it later!’ and walked out.
After some more stage talks, which I’m not gonna talk about ‘cause you can watch the whole thing online by now, I had my Mark photo op, which turned out hilarious thanks to Mark’s 'kill me' expression he wears on every single shoot from that day. I gave him another card, he was like ‘you gave me one already, what what what?' and I told him there was more to come so he just put it in his backpocket with the other one.
After that, I spent ages waiting in line for my autographs from Kim, Julian, Ty, Rick and Dj and still managed to catch the end of Mark’s stage talk. Then it was lunch break time and together my lovely girls we went back to the airport to grab a bite only to bump into a Mr. Collins in a completely random location. You’ll be proud to hear we saved out girly screams till after he was out of earshot.
The second part of the day started with more queueing, this time for the autographs from Misha, Mark, Rich and Matt. Mark took his card without any further comments but Misha wouldn’t let it slide that easily.
I picked an alligator joke for him ‘cause it was rather easy to understand which I didn’t fail to point out:
Me (handing him the card): This one is really easy, you should get it right away.
Misha (bitchface: on): I got the first one!
Me: Took you a while though…
Misha: I got it eventually! I’m not an idiot!
I laughed, he signed my photo and my book and that was it for the time. That was also the first of the very many bitchfaces I got from Misha that weekend and yes, I do count that as a personal accomplishment.
After that, I got a photo op with Julian, which Ruth was kind enough to share with me, went to a whole bunch of stage talks and then waited for ages for the Meet and Greet to begin.
I’m not gonna talk about everything that happened during the Meet and Greet other than: they are all absolute sweethearts and the unlimited wine supply was a good idea. What I am gonna talk about is the meeting and greeting I’ve done with Mark and Misha on the occasion. Mark was first to get to our table, he was grumpy as ever and ended us even angrier once someone told him he was not a proper companion on Doctor Who (you know who you are!). I gave him the card, he read it and gave it back, we had a bit of an argument over it before I finally chased him down after he left our table and forced him to keep it. I might have yelled a bit but it was friendly yelling (I hope^^)
As for Misha, he came over twice. First time, he was right across the table from where I stood so I threw him the card, he read it, sent me a bitchface and threw it back. I’m told he was telling a story about leaving West at a baggage claim and forgetting all about him but all I could focus on was throwing the card back and forth like the mature adults we both claim to be. Finally, the lovely Diana asked him if he didn’t want the card to which he replied by looking me deep in the eye and saying ‘I don’t know how to make it more apparent that I really don’t’. At that point he was offered an obvious solution: a lighter. He looked around for a bit, searching for a nearest smoke detector, ignored my 'don't you dare'-s and actually set my friggin’ card on fire right there, in the middle of the room during the official Meet and Greet event of the AE4. Then he realized it was probably not the best idea, tried to put it out and burned his hand. He had to go away right afterwards but actually took the card with him. When he came back for a second a while later I told him it was karma that got his ass and I got another bitchface for my ever-growing collection.
I didn’t sleep that night, queueing for the coffee lounge with Misha since 3am with a whole new collection of puns and a proper from-the-heart note to hand Misha later. I met a wholelot of people in the line and it turned out to be much more fun than expected, especially that Ty was roaming around the building refusing to go to sleep and being ever-so-slightly drunk.
The proper day started with a stage talk by Matt and Richard which was cute and hilarious and made me even happier for the photo op and coffee lounge had with them later thanks to an unexpected wave of funds from my parents. After that I had my photo op with both Mark and Misha I was really looking forward to ‘cause I actually had a plan for this one. I handed them a card each and asked them to pose with the faces they’d make as a reaction to the jokes. You can admire the glorious result above. I can’t remember the joke I gave to Misha but Mark really liked him Forrest Gump one, actually laughed at it (he was in a much etter mood that day) and told it to Misha while I went to get my stuff. Misha just rolled his eyes in my general direction.
Then it was time for my coffee lounge with him. I left a card with a snowman joke in it on his chair and went to have a seat. He jumped towards it once he entered the room but jumped right back once he noticed a crazy lady who booked a seat next to him (he did actually say ‘I’m not sitting next to you’, I’m not making this up). He later demanded I read him the joke ‘cause he didn’t want to see the punchline straight away. He didn’t guess the answer, some other girl did though so four for you, you go, whoever you are! He was quite impressed by how bad the jokes were and wanted to know where I got them so I had to assure him the whole idea required a lot of research and that my actual sense of humour was ever-so-slightly more sophisticated. Not sure if he bought that though. We talked about a whole bunch of stuff you probably already read about so I’m just gonna say I got to ask him about working with Mike Farrell (whom I love and adore since M.A.S.H.) and it turns out Misha is as much of a fanboy as I am. I also gave him my letter at the end of the coffee lounge and he told me to fuck off but took it anyway and I pouted at him and said that was a very serious one and he apologized right away ‘cause he though he hurt my feelings. He left right after that and I followed ‘cause I had a photo op with him and Ty next.
For that, I got to be the very first in line after the people with upgrades and as we were waiting for the last single photos with Misha to be taken, Ty came in and kinda awkwardly stood on the side so I called him over to give him his card with a Juan joke in it (I made one for him ‘cause I didn’t want to give one to Misha at this photo op and not have one for him). He hugged me and loved the joke and asked me why I did this so I said ‘I’m the Pun Fairy for the evening' and he looked at me wide-eyed and said 'Porn Fairy?' and made me promise that maybe next time.
Then it was time to take the photo so I gave Misha his card, saying ‘that’s the very last one I’m giving you ‘cause we won’t really see one another afterwards’. He read the card while I demanded a sandwich hug from them and went ahead to hug Ty again. A second later I saw my card flying to the floor and Misha hugged me from behind and thus my favourite photo of the con was produced. Once it was taken, I turned to leave but Misha grabbed my hand and just kinda held it for a while. He may have said something but I honestly don’t remember - him holding my hand out of his own free will was all I registered. I’m also pretty sure I left the room floating above the carpet. Might have been the lack of sleep though, you never know.
(spoiler alert: it totally wasn’t)
Anyway, I managed to catch the rest of Mark Sheppard’s stage talk after that and as I was leaving the room once he was done, I actually bumped into him. He recognized me (!!!) and went 'Hello, you are the girl with the jokes! Got anything else for me?' and the thing was - I wouldn't have 'cause our photo op with him and Misha that day was the last time I was supposed to see him but luckily, by some miracle, I had a very last emergency joke (about Switzerland) on me so I said 'always' and handed him the card.
He LOVED the joke! He started laughing out loud and repeating it to everyone around. He even took the time to explain why it was so brilliant and which comedian it reminded him of! He was talking about it all the way to the other side of the building we were both heading to and even when I left he wouldn’t shut up about it. As in, people heard him repeating it way later!
It was time for a lunch break after that happened and the first thing I had afterwards was a coffee lounge with Matt and Richard. It was happening in the same room Misha’s coffee lounge took place in earlier that day and right after I took a seat one of the girls who knew about my Pun Fairy alter-ego found the card with the snowman joke in it just kinda lying around. I held it in my hand when Matt and Rich came in and were walking around to say hello to everyone and it took less than a second for Richard to spot it. He asked me what that was and I said ‘Just something Misha left behind ‘cause he’s an ass' and handed it to him. He opened the card, pointed at me and went 'Are you the girl who’s been handing jokes to everyone?!’ and I said ‘I guess so' cuz I seriously wasn't sure at that point. He looked at Matt and said 'Mark was telling your joke in the green room’ and that apparently everybody really loved it and Matt demanded I tell it again so I did and then Rich read the snowman one from the card, which I asked him to keep. After that, Richard kinda looked at me and went ‘So you are the girl who’d been handing cards to everyone… I’m not saying anything but I didn’t get any, did you?’ and Matt said he didn’t either and I felt super bad and I tried to explain but they went like 'whatevs, we don't need ur stupid cards anyway' and then we played games and took pictures and it was lovely anyway.
I still felt awful though but luckily I had a photo op with them to fix the situation. I ran out of cards by that point so I had to prepare a makeshift ones with two jokes in each. I doodled a cat and an owl on the covers (that’s what was on the original ones) and left a kiss with my lipstick in the corner and finished the masterpiece with a splash of perfume. Cheesy, I know, but they loved it anyway. I asked them to show the cards off in the photo, which I adore and you can see above. I came back later to ask them about the jokes and whether that settles the score and they hugged me and read the jokes out loud for some people who were still around.
After that it was time for the last stage talk of the convention and I went to the room extra early to guard my place in line ‘cause I wanted to ask Misha a certain question or two. We waited forever but it was more than worth it. I was the third person to ask the question and of course the microphone didn’t work so I had to repeat it three times - I asked about the songs Misha sings to his baby daughter and he answered with the Burning Man story and was impressed with my father’s choice of repertoire from when I was a baby (the theme song from High Noon and other ols westerns, if you were curious). My second question was: ‘Have you heard any good jokes at the convention?’ to which Misha replied with a glorious bitch, please! face and said ‘No, I have not heard any good jokes this convention but I heard a lot of really terrible jokes’. I laughed, convinced that was it but he kept talking, told people who I was or rather what I did and to prove how awful my jokes actually were, he repeated two of the ones I gave him (about a buffalo and an octopus) expecting dead silence from the audience. What he didn’t take into account was the ton of fabulous people I met that weekend and shared my cunning plan with so when both of his jokes got answered, he sent me an oh, you! smile as I bowed and waved at the crowd (I love you, guys, btw, thanks for that!) and finished the story saying 'This is the kind of poison this woman has been putting in my ear' thus pronouncing the Pun Fairy Initiative a great success.
And that was the end to my Aecon4 adventure. I already have my Asylum12 ticket booked and you bet your assbutts the Pun Fairy will be there with me but the thing is, I need your help. I’m gonna need a whole lot of bad jokes and puns next year to meet the ever-growing demand and make some more memories to share with you guys so if you have any good (or rather, terrifyingly bad) but appropriate ones, please send them to me in an ask or whatever so I can put them in my official Pun Bible.
Thanks in advance and I really hope you liked my story:)